My dear, dear Cleveland, there is one thing you don't have and that's an adequate amount of bars and restaurants lakeside.
In our eternal search for eateries along a body of water, we asked our friend, who is like google and a GPS combined, where we could eat lakeside. He told us about a place called Pier W in Lakewood. It's completely out of the way behind a high-rise apartment building, so if you didn't know about it, then you may never find it.
The restaurant is anchored into the side of a cliff reaching over the lake, so we couldn't have been closer to our holy grail. Windows that are almost floor to ceiling lined every wall. The interior is just as nice as the view, with white tablecloths and a flower at every table. Some parts kind of looked like a cruise ship. It had its moments of fake marble and a blue-lit bar, but besides that it looked very nice.
The fear I had going in was that because of its prime location, the food might not be set to as high a standard, but I was pleasantly surprised that it was.
I went with the pre-fixe menu and for $29.99 I got mussels in an amazing tomato and wine broth, a beef filet, and vanilla crème brûlée with fresh berries.
Everything was delicious, and I am definitely thinking about going back for the happy hour.
P.S. The roof of the restaurant serves as an observation deck to look out over the water. It's great for spotting boats.